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Projects which are assigned to groups benefit from the variety of personalities and perspectives of its members. These personalities and perspectives, however, also bring with them challenges as we try to work productively together. The group route to success is both exciting and bumpy.
A technique to establish a successful working group is to approach the project with an understanding and agreement regarding how the group will interact and operate. By doing so, we can steer clear of some of the common pitfalls that can plague a group’s effectiveness and productivity while enabling us to enhance its ability to tap into the talents and skills of all members.
One way to do this is by creating an informal, written group contract-of-understanding. While this is not a legal document, it establishes agreed-upon guidelines or rules that outline the group’s goals and objectives, behaviour and conduct, communication, scheduling of meetings, and expectations of its members as well as any other factors pertinent to ensuring the success of the group.
When putting together a group contract, here are some suggestions to consider including:
1. Assume that all members mean well and are working to their best ability.
It’s very difficult to work effectively in a group if you suspect that someone has their own agenda or ulterior motive. While that does happen from time to time, most often it’s that someone has a different perspective on an issue than you do and it’s more of a misunderstanding or lack of information than an untoward motive. When all members assume that everyone has the group’s best interest in mind, issues are easier to discuss because it’s understood that the result of the discussion is a successful outcome for the project.
2. Everyone participates.
We often assume that most people want to do as little as possible, but there are some who want to take control and do it all themselves. Neither are appropriate ways for a group to function. There has to be a balance between doing too little and doing too much. State something like, “All members will come to meetings prepared and ready to contribute to the discussion as well as to the workload,” so there’s an expectation of equal participation.
A note on the above statement: Recognize also that there will be meetings, assignments, or action items where one person or a few people will contribute more than another because of his particular area of expertise or interest. Over the lifespan of the group, however, all the work should even out by taking advantage of the skills and talents of all group members.
3. Show up on time.
One of the biggest time wasters for a group is members who turn up late. When a meeting is scheduled to begin at 2pm, be ready to begin at 2pm - and not just entering the meeting room at that time. Being late holds up the productivity of the group especially when it requires all members to be present. Even if only one person arrives 20 minutes late, that’s 20 minutes of material that has to be summarized or repeated for the latecomer which in itself can take another five minutes. When all is said and done, the meeting is fully underway half an hour past the agreed upon meeting time. That’s a lot of wasted time.
Needless to say, being late is inconsiderate to those who made the effort to arrive on time. If you’re the one who is late, you’ve wasted their time and by doing so have silently stated that you don’t consider their time to be important or valuable. If you thought it were, would you have arrived at the appointed hour.
Some groups fine members for being late. This tends to be effective but it requires the fine to be significant enough to encourage all members to be punctual.
4. Listen to everyone’s ideas.
Some ideas will be better than others, but listening to all of them is good team work and team spirit. Not only does this encourage everyone to participate but also it brings a variety of perspectives to consider. Even if someone presents a weak idea, it may be adapted, adjusted, manipulated, tweaked, and developed into a great idea. Where we end up is not always where we expect to be. When we’re open and are able to listen to the opportunity in an idea, we can sometimes create a better and more effective outcome than we originally thought.
However - if one member of the group is a chatterbox who may potentially dominate the meeting with his idea, it may be advisable to have a time restriction for presenting. For example, bring a stopwatch and give everyone two minutes to communicate their idea.
5. Do what you say you will do.
This is pretty self-explanatory. When you’ve accepted to do a task, it’s a commitment and the other members of the group are relying on you to do it to the best of your ability. However, things do come up and if it turns that you are unable to complete it, ask for assistance as soon as possible. This doesn’t mean to procrastinate until the eleventh hour and then send a panic email to the group asking for help. Manage your time so if you need help, you can ask for it in enough time that another member can assist without being stressed to make the deadline. When everyone does what they say they’ll do, the project will progress smoothly and according to schedule.
Once the informal contract has been created, have all members sign it and distribute photocopies so that everyone remembers what they agreed to. Like any interpersonal relationship, group dynamics need to be attended to, understood and managed. Having a contract from the onset of the project sets an understanding of what each member can expect from the others as well as what the others expect from them.
Change is all around us. Effective leadership communication during times of change creates stability and trust. Leaders at all levels must communicate change and share information as soon as possible. Here are tips for a communication-rich culture.
1. Communicate change as soon as possible.
People do not want to hear about a merger or acquisition through the grapevine. Communicate even when you don’t have anything substantial to say. This lets people know you are aware of their need for information and you will provide it as soon as possible. Provide frequent updates to keep their need for information satisfied. People who do not have useful information in a timely manner feel confused, stressed, scared, and insecure.
2. Explain what is changing, how, and why.
Let people know the business reasons behind the change and how it impacts them. Anticipate any questions they may have and give them detailed, valuable answers.
3. Let people know what they can do.
Empower people to make a difference during volatile times. Inspire and motivate people to own the change and to be innovative in helping to resolve issues. Provide them with a specific call to action to make them feel included and important to the process.
4. Be visible during times of change.
Be accessible and allow people to ask questions and offer ideas. Schedule meetings to communicate up, down, and across the organization. Follow through with your commitments to follow up with people.
5. Be a role model for change.
Demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence during uncertain times. No one wants to see a leader have an emotional meltdown. Your actions and leadership presence will speak volumes about what is really going on and help others deal with their fear and resistance.
6. Use a variety of methods to communicate.
Select the most useful and effective channels to communicate. These methods can range from town hall meetings, to small group meetings, to newsletters and e-mail updates. Create a trustworthy, communication-rich environment that is reliable.
7. Communicating bad news is often uncomfortable for both the sender and receiver.
However, direct talk is often the best choice. But always deliver your message with tact and diplomacy. Demonstrate empathy when delivering bad news. Understand the emotion, resistance, and discomfort toward change.
There’s no perfect way to communicate during uncertain times. Transition makes most people uneasy, and behaviors and long-held habits are not easy to change. Communicate clearly, openly, frequently, and most important, honestly.
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Debra Hamilton is president of Creative Communications & Training, Inc. She writes on communication topics and designs training and coaching programs to improve communication, teambuilding, and leadership. Visit her website for more information or sign up for her free monthly e-newsletter, Communication Guru.
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
At work, at home and in our social circles, we carry with us a sense of our own personal space that we often unconsciously protect. Respecting another’s personal space is key in maintaining good interpersonal relationships.
Probably the most readily thought-of personal space is that which physically, although invisibly, surrounds us. You’ve probably felt what it’s like to have someone “in your space” - it’s uncomfortable and you may take a step or two back to regain the physical distance you need to be comfortable again. We have different perceptions of how much space we need and someone made require more space between others than you do. Their body language will tell you if they’re comfortable with the distance or if you’re being a space invader.
Personal space also includes specific physical areas that extend beyond our invisible space. These tend to be spaces that we qualify as “mine” even if we don’t own them: “my work cubicle,” “my desk,” or “my parking space.” Be cognisant that these are spaces which we perceive as our own even if they’re the property of someone else or the company which we work for. Treat them as if they are actually owned by each individual. At work, don’t go through their desk drawers looking for a pen, don’t take their pad of sticky notes because you see they have two on their desk, and when parking your vehicle, park in the center of “your” spot so that your neighbour can easily open her car door in “her” spot. While none of these are really “theirs,” “yours,” or “mine,” there is personal entitlement to whomever they’ve been assigned and that assumed entitlement should be respected. When we don’t, we run the risk of bothering or annoying the other person and jeopardizing what could otherwise be an amicable relationship.
Another invisible personal space, or perhaps this is an invasion of personal space, is the sound that enters into it. Invading another’s personal space with your personal noise is a sure way to cause friction. Talking loudly on the cell phone, ear-splitting, cackling laughter in the otherwise quiet restaurant, or a neighbour’s blaring stereo are all types of aural assaults on personal space. Hearing unwanted noise makes what could have been a good time into one that is stressful, frustrating, and not at all enjoyable. Respect that the other people on the bus don’t want to hear your cell phone conversation. While you may be having a blast with friends over dinner, intruding on another’s evening out with boisterous laughter is obnoxious. Listening to your favourite tunes on volume 10 (11 for you Spinal Tap fans) with the bass cranked up and your windows open - well, it may be fun for you but for the five neighbours around you, not so much. Not only will you cause unnecessary upset, but you’ll also be branded as inconsiderate, unthoughtful, and selfish - and who needs that kind of reputation?
While we tend to focus on getting along with others through good social skills that revolve around what we say and how we act, there are many contributing factors that encourage good interpersonal relationships but are perhaps less conspicuous. In this case, it’s simply a matter of paying more attention to the personal space of those around us and being considerate of how our actions may be intrusive.
There’s a lot on the internet on the importance of listening, active listening, effective listening, and how to be a good listener. But there’s very little instruction on how to be a poor listener. So many people listen poorly that one can assume that it must be important. In light of this assumption, I’ve outlined five key ways to be an exemplary poor listener. Note that it’s very easy to accomplish because it takes so little effort and if you’re really good at it, you’ll be able to quickly tune out the speaker or, better yet, get him to stop talking so that you can start.
1. Look away.
Avoid eye contact with the speaker. Just don’t look at him. Look around him: over his head, out the window, at the floor, at the ceiling, at your nails or your shoes. At anything but him. If you do this well enough, the speaker will stop and look wherever it is that you’re looking. This gives you the opportunity to cut in, change the topic and discuss something much more interesting – yourself.
2. Interrupt.
This is a perfect way to show someone that not only are you not listening, but also that whatever she’s saying is nowhere near as important or interesting as what you’ve got to say. It doesn’t matter when you cut in, although it’s best to do it early in the conversation so that you don’t waste time listening to her story or opinion. It’s important to do this several times during a conversation so that she’ll catch on that you’re not interested in what she’s talking about.
3. Fiddle.
Fiddling is distracting and, hopefully, will annoy the speaker enough that he’ll stop talking. The best kind of fiddling implement is one that makes noise. Like a pen that retracts with a clicker at the end. Or try tapping on the table with something - a key, a spoon or a tube of lip balm. They all work really well and are usually close at hand.
4. Repeatedly shift your body.
If you’ve forgotten your clicker pen and you can’t find something suitable to fiddle with, don’t worry – use your body. Shift in your chair, cross your legs then uncross them; repeat this a few times. Use body language such as resting your chin in the palm of your hand then tilt your head and put the side of your face against your fingers. Do some neck rolls. Sighing is good also. You can miss a lot of the conversation by doing this, time will pass a bit quicker and you’ll soon be talking about yourself again.
5. Take the topic and run with it.
Say, for example, you’re having a drink with a colleague after work and he’s telling you that he had a really horrible day. He’s talking about how he and his boss got into this really heated argument and how upset he is over it. Now is perfect timing for you to cut in and tell him all about the big fight you had with your boss three years ago. This way, you don’t have to hear him vent nor be empathetic and you get to retell a great story. Niiiice.
Keep these tips in mind and you’re well on your way to being a poor listener. Use them individually or combine them for extra impact and efficiency. Once you’ve mastered them, you’ll have to find someone who you can talk to. After all, not everyone is a good listener.
Do You Ask Or Dictate?
There is definitely a certain finesse to doing things that either magnetically pulls people to you or repels them away. So why do some people tick you off with the way they handle things and others don’t offend you at all? Is it the intent behind the words? Is it the judgment?
Imagine you are having a big dinner party and you have invited several friends.
One emails you back saying, “Great! We can’t wait to see you. What would you like me to bring?”
One emails you back saying, “Great! We can’t wait to see you. I will bring dessert!”
How do those two responses sit with you? For most people I poll, they like the first response and don’t like the second response. Why? Both are generous offers.
The first offer puts the POWER and CONTROL in the hands of the person throwing the dinner party. If they want you to bring something they can pick what they like to least make, what will help them out the most, or they have the option of not having you bring anything if they are trying to do a “themed dinner.”
The second offer puts the POWER and CONTROL in the hands of the person coming to the party. If the hostess has a theme she now has to explain herself to you as she tries to get you to NOT bring dessert, if she particularly likes to make dessert but hates to make appetizers you have taken away the fun part of the dinner for her and left her with what she doesn’t enjoy, and she now has to decide if she is going to have others bring things as you may make the other attendees feel awkward if they come empty handed.
In other words, the second email put the hostess in a pickle. Did the person mean to? No, but the point is, do you make things easier on others with your communication?
Any good and kind deed you do should make the other person’s life easier, not more complicated. You want to always remember that people aren’t like you and you need to do what is best for them, not you.
I see this same play in emails at work. A team is formed to work on a project and one person just jumps in with “I’ll do __________ you do __________.” They are trying to be efficient but what they have essentially done is take the power and control in to their hands and stripped the other person. Even if they had just stated, “How about if I do ________? Would you be okay with doing_________?” Just as efficient but not offensive.
WHAT TO DO:
1. Look over your last emails. Do you take power or equal it out?
2. Look at projects you assign. Do you let people develop the key areas and assign themselves or do you just assign? If you do assign, do you do it in a way that makes them feel good?
3. Look at your relationships. Do you OFFER assistance or do you INSIST on it? Do you ying and yang well with others?
Think of it like the advice Mom used to give you. When it was solicited, it was great and brought you comfort. When it was unsolicited, it was seen as criticism, and it ticked you off.
Take action: How do you know if you are not coming off the way you would like? Watch the replies you get. If the other person starts defending their position it is a clue that what you wrote or said offended them. Over time you will notice that you automatically make a conscious effort towards thoughtful communication.
When people want great presentation skills, they call Anne Warfield. As the leading Outcome Strategist, Anne helps people negotiate, present, sell and lead by managing perceptions, since perceptions become reality. She does this by showing you how to speak so people WANT to listen to you.
Article Source: EzineArticles.com, Anne Warfield
We all complain. Sometimes, our complaints are legitimate and we voice them because we want to draw attention to a situation which we’d like to improve. Complaining can also be therapeutic when we need to vent and get something off our chest. Other times, however, they’re reactive, idle rants that go on and on over time and we can become so absorbed by the pessimism of the situation that we put our concentration on complaining about the problem instead of on finding a solution to it.
There are several unfortunate consequences when we indulge in this kind of non-stop complaining, besides having our friends either avoid the topic that ignites the rant or avoid us because they’re tired of listening to it. Those consequences are that complaining
- drags everyone down
- discourages creativity
- eats at morale
- establishes an “us against them” victim mentality
- gets in the way of finding a solution to the issue
- creates suspicion and paranoia that “someone’s out to get us”
- leads to blaming and finger pointing
- is uninspiring, tiresome, and boring
When it comes to getting along with others, complaining is not an optimal approach. An over-active complainer may not realize this, but his constant stream of negativity eventually wears down relationships. It’s difficult to endure conversations that focus intensely on what’s going wrong. Such rants tend to be repeated over and over and the issue never changes. As time passes, complaining causes relationships to stagnate because they’re stalled on repetitive, negative aspects of situations, circumstances, conditions or people.
Complaining can’t resolve any problem. The constant-complainer’s mental attitude is stuck on the problem and it doesn’t allow him move forward. It’s as if he’s suspended in time by keeping alive the things and situations that bother him. He’s so focused on the problem that he has no brain-space left to find the solution. Solutions cannot be found in the complaint.
Solutions are creative, dynamic and they uncover different perspectives. They open up possibilities and opportunities by focusing on what can be done, not what can’t or what doesn’t work. Solutions require that the individual moves forward and develop. Their relationships are positively impacted by their “can-do” attitude, they’re inspired by their creativity and they’re seen as leaders because they’re focused on improvement and progress and not satisfied with second-rate status quo.
There are ways to avoid the complaint trap and not allow your relationships to suffer from the inherent negativity in complaining. These three steps may be useful:
Three Steps to Resolve Your Own Complaints
1. Identify the issue and leave it at that.
Don’t go on and on about how much it bothers you, how it frustrates you, how much you don’t like it, etc. State what is the problem and go on to step two.
2. Take a proactive and positive approach to come up with ideas to resolve the problem.
Ask yourself, “What can I do about this?” or “How can I change a negative situation into a better one?” Ask others for their input and suggestions. Research similar situations. Think of three possible solutions and choose which offers the best possible outcome and will resolve the complaint.
3. Do it.
Put the solution into action. You could have the best solution in the world but it’s meaningless if you do nothing with it; an issue is still an issue if the solution isn’t implemented. In some cases, you may find that a possible solution is to walk away from the situation. That’s OK. Sometimes, leaving the situation can be the best resolution. Whatever you decide, take action and resolve the issue that’s causing the complaint.
The negative focus of complaints drains our energy and prevents us from finding the solutions that are needed to make situations and circumstances better. Individuals who turn complaints into opportunities for improvements often take on the role of a leader because they focus their attention on doing rather than on complaining. They’re able to create the necessary changes to eliminate the cause of the complaint instead of keeping it alive.
Taking some time to consider what are our common complaints and how they affect our relationships is an exercise worth exploring. If we realize that we overdo it sometimes, this might be an opportunity to find a solution instead of complaining about the problem.
Have you ever been invited to a party and didn’t want to go but you also didn’t feel comfortable simply saying ‘no’? So instead of going you made up an excuse to get out of it? And you tried to be a bit creative so it sounded as if it was true - like you’re going to your in-laws on a Saturday night for a surprise reunion or your neighbour is dry walling his basement and you offered to help out. We’ve probably all been in this rather uncomfortable situation and tried to come up with a good reason but instead gave a bumbling excuse.
Why do we do that? Why can’t we just say no?
On the flip side, why is it so hard to take ‘no’ for an answer? While rejection is both hard and disappointing, we can be gracious when someone declines our invitation or offer. Here are a few suggestions on how to respectfully take ‘no’ for an answer:
1. Don’t take it personally.
If your friend doesn’t want to go to the movies, even though she has nothing else planned, this doesn’t mean her decision has something to do with you. It may mean that she just wants to spend an evening at home, flaked out on the couch, flicking channels. Whatever it is, it probably has to do with what’s going on in her life, not yours.
2. Don’t ask ‘why’ and make her justify saying ‘no.’
She doesn’t have to give you a reason why she said ‘no.’ If she offers one, fine, but if she doesn’t, don’t cross-examine her. Doing so appears as though you get to determine whether or not she has a good enough reason.
3. Don’t insist that she change her plans to accommodate you.
If she says she’d like to go to her yoga class and pass by the gym on the same evening that you invited her to a dinner party, don’t suggest that she should take an afternoon class and go to your dinner party in the evening. While you may not want to spend your Saturday evening in meditation, this might be her only time all week to really focus on it. Encourage her to do what she wants when she wants.
4. Don’t beg her to change her mind.
“Oh, please come. It won’t be fun without you. I really want you to come. Pleeeeease.”
Respect her decision. Why would you want to guilt her into coming when she’s told you she doesn’t want to? Friends don’t make friends feel guilty.
When someone turns down your invitation, show you respect her decision by saying something like, “It would have been great to have you join us, but I understand if you can’t. We can get together another time.”
It also might be a good idea at this point to move on with the conversation and change the topic so there’s not that uncomfortable silence where you both may feel awkward. This helps you to get over the rejection hump and keeps the other person from potentially feeling badly or guilty for having said ‘no.’
While it can be hard to hear ‘no,’ we can accept it graciously and respectfully. Our friends will likely appreciate our acceptance and feel more at ease to be themselves around us because they know we won’t impose our wishes on them.
I came across this as I was browsing through a bunch of interesting articles and I thought it gave some good advice. ~Laurie
Multiple workplace studies have found that one of the biggest reasons why people leave their jobs is that a coworker has annoyed them out of the workplace. Now with the economy being in trouble, many are going to hold onto their jobs and try to make the best of a bad situation. But what if you, perhaps unknowingly through your behavior, are the coworker who’s annoying? Here are some tips for restoring harmony in the office.
The Desire To Be Right All the Time Do you find yourself arguing a lot over little details that don’t matter much in the big picture? How does this affect the mood of the office? Resist the urge to say, “I told you so,” if it’s not about a big issue. Everyone involved knows that you were right. Don’t shove it in their faces. You’ll look like a much wiser person if you can hold your tongue.
Rule Bending
You may be in a position where you don’t have to follow all of the rules. But this will drive your colleagues crazy if they see you getting away with something that lands them in hot water. It can also weaken your credibility if, for instance, you tell people to arrive on time and are always late to work. Sure you may have every right to carry on as you like but do you want people spending their time complaining about you or doing their work? Sometimes it’s good to follow the rules because it’s your, “pleasure to do so,” rather than a requirement.
Finish Sentences For Others
My mind is fast and so is my tongue. At times they don’t like waiting. But it can be very disrespectful to cut someone off and finish their sentence for them. This is especially bad if you come to a different conclusion. Slow talkers can drive me crazy but allowing them to finish saves me more time, ultimately, than I get by cutting them off. And by staying silent, you’ll be praised for being a good listener.
Ken Okel is a keynote presenter, a former broadcaster and a former non-profit executive. He helps people and organizations move from survival to success. For his free newsletter and special report, 7 Communication Mistakes that are Costing You Money, go to his website at http://www.kenokel.com. You’ll also be able to see a video of Ken’s famous police dog attack story. See Ken’s tips invade YouTube: Ken Orkel
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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