Comments for expressyourselftosuccess.com

Comment on Public Speaking – 3 Tips on How to Become a Public Speaking Master by Edward Hope

Edward Hope — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:34:30 +0000

5 great tips on public speaking mastery and your first one is essential. It is only through practice that mastery can be reached and public speaking is no different. Getting to the top of any field is reached by doing something and learning along the way.

Comment on First Impressions…Can you close a sale in 10 seconds or less? by jonathanfigaro

jonathanfigaro — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:56:59 +0000

It never good to be tardy. I make it a personal choice, to be on time. But sometimes %$*^ happens. We can’t always be on time, but we can do our best.

Comment on Use Apologies Judiciously to Negotiate Successfully by Farouk

Farouk — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 06:48:14 +0000

i like this article, i am going through tough negotiations these days, hope i can use it

Comment on Team Building Programs by Ethan Jones

Ethan Jones — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 16:53:39 +0000

Team building is really necessary for a very successful implementation of business plans.”“

Comment on The Ten Biggest Mistakes of Business Networking – Part 1 of 2 by Michelle

Michelle — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 19:02:03 +0000

Hi, thanks for the really great article.

Not remembering names is the gravest mistake you’ll ever do in doing business networking. Well, the most common goal that we want in networking is to extend and build our network. We do not necessary build the network to sell but to build the network where you can help people and also have people to help you whenever you are in a tight spot. Business networking is not just about the series of events you prepare and attend, it is having the sole goal of meeting people and building relationships with them. This is the way of life of the nurturing networker or the ideal business networker.

Networking is not all about the fancy speeches you make during networking events, it’s not about the fliers you give away, and certainly not all about the just the handshakes you make with other people. Networking is about the lunch meetings you set up with the people you meet, the hours long chat with them, it’s the showing up in their front door when they are in times of trouble and basically the goal of building a firm relationship with them.

Remember these when you want to build your business network. Never forget always, give them once in a while phone calls or set up lunch meetings with them just to chat.

Comment on Counteracting Workplace De-motivators by Amy

Amy — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 23:50:58 +0000

One of the biggest demotivators that I see go unresolved are demotivating people. You know the ones. They complain, they whine, and they mumble a lot. They spend more time with those things than actually doing work.

In such cases it’s management’s responsibility to take action even if it means firing the person. And yes that means some short term problems like interviewing, hiring, and training a new person, but it’s worth it in the long run and will send a positive signal to everyone else.

Laurie: I agree with you completely. There’s little that can be done with habitual and chronic demotivating people and sometimes getting rid of them is the best thing for the organization. Thanks for your useful comment.

Comment on Effective Communication Skills by Ashley

Ashley — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 22:21:54 +0000

Hi,

Great post! I like how you broke down each communication skill; I will definitely take some of these tips and bits for the future and to also improve social skills for business relations. Kuddos!

Comment on Team Success – 5 Myths About Team Working by Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach — Sat, 29 May 2010 00:59:50 +0000

Duncan,
Love this post because it reminds everyone to think and ask about team myths before jumping in. My favorite on your list — in essence teams do have conflict. How they deal with it is the key. The other great reminder — goals alone do not create a team! I will RT this post on Twitter.

Here are three of my teamwork posts to expand this discussion even further.
————————-
A More Successful Definition of Teamwork and 4 Gems to Succeed

Successful Ways to Deal With Team Conflict

Strengthen Teamwork by Burying These Phrases
—————————
I welcome your comments and contributions on these posts and on Twitter http://twitter.com/katenasser

Best,
Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach

Comment on Six Tips on Dealing With Conflict at Work by Judy

Judy — Tue, 25 May 2010 13:28:16 +0000

Thank you for the information re handling conflict @ work. I’m dealing with a situation at work this week & can hopefully apply the principles in your article so that I come out looking like the mature professional that I am. I appreciate the article!

Comment on Management: Five Tips for Winning Over Others by How to Convince People to Accept Your Ideas | expressyourselftosuccess.com

How to Convince People to Accept Your Ideas | expressyourselftosuccess.com — Mon, 24 May 2010 15:13:11 +0000

[...] colleagues is essential when you’re trying to get them to buy-in to your initiatives. To have better and more effective communication in the workplace, avoid pushing your ideas onto [...]

Comment on How to Handle Mobile Phones During Presentations by Tim James

Tim James — Fri, 21 May 2010 07:50:34 +0000

Thanks for a great article. I teach pat testing courses and it is sometimes a problem for me when phones go off during a demonstration. I always stop and wait-sometimes I try to make light of it, but it’s always inconvenient.

I have a slide which I put up at the start, which has symbols for the toilets, fire escape, no-smoking etc, so I always ask people to switch their phones onto silent mode at the same time I tell them where the restrooms are, and what to do in the event of an evacuation.

Tim James

Comment on Effective Communication Skills by E.G. Sebastian

E.G. Sebastian — Mon, 17 May 2010 04:32:21 +0000

Communication skills are not only important, but I’d say are the most important skills one should constantly try to improve upon.

Without good communicatin skills one cannot be successful in their jobs or at home…

I’m speaking from experience. I used to solve my differences with fist fights up till my teen years; but then I started studying effective commmunication and it changed my life – not only my personal life, but my career as well. Once I learned how to treat people and how to communicate with them, I started accomplishing things that I never thought possible before…

Well… I could get lost and give you the story of my life

Great site, great posts – keep up the great work!

Comment on Effective Communication Skills by Leroy

Leroy — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 17:39:48 +0000

That’s very true communication skills are very vital especially when running a business !

Comment on I’m Not Yelling by Ann

Ann — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 15:42:38 +0000

My tone tends to offend those closest to me when I get passionate about a subject. I never raise my voice — it’s just the tone. I have never been one to intentionally hurt anyone. I’m learning to not respond as quickly by taking a few seconds to think about my tone and delivery before I speak. When I am truly angry, I have to step back and discuss the situation later. I find that no one really “hears” what you say when they don’t like your tone. I am definitely “work in progress.” Thank you for sharing.

Comment on The Art Of Negotiating: In Today’s World, The Skilled Negotiator Has The Advantage by Negotiation Techniques

Negotiation Techniques — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 14:57:59 +0000

I agree with your heading. This is a very good post. Detailed and precise. Keep up the good job!

Comment on Questions During a Negotiation by Negotiation Technique

Negotiation Technique — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:08:53 +0000

Hey. With perfect timing and perfect words I would surely hit the block and be successful with my negotiation. I will try this out and hope it works.

Comment on Tips on Meeting Facilitation by Ralph

Ralph — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 17:38:32 +0000

Great tips. Facilitation skills are important for any leader who desires to make meeting more meaningful.

Comment on How to Prepare to Negotiate or Influence by Steven | The Emotion Machine

Steven | The Emotion Machine — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:27:10 +0000

Good advice. I definitely agree that people need to know and clearly define what they want out of the transaction. Otherwise they are just throwing an arrow in a dark room…not very likely to hit the target.

Comment on Are You Aware of Your Vocal Shortcomings? by Steven | The Emotion Machine

Steven | The Emotion Machine — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:15:38 +0000

You write:

“Today, we are all concerned about the visual image we project. Yet, little attention is paid to the way we speak or the way we sound.”

And I believe that when we have a deep, clear, and rich voice it actually makes us sexier and better-looking too!

One obvious example of a good speaker is President Obama. I saw his State of the Union address the other day and he really knows how to catch people’s attention and create a good vibe.

Comment on Effective Communication Skills by Steven | The Emotion Machine

Steven | The Emotion Machine — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:12:31 +0000

This is a very good rundown of all the great content on this site. I will check out a couple of them right now – explaining and persuading.

Thanks for putting together such a helpful site!

Comment on Facilitative Leadership by Q: What are the skills needed to be a good manager? A: Effective Communication Skills | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 08:05:00 +0000

[...] facilitative leadership [...]

Comment on How Not to Offend Staff by Q: What are the skills needed to be a good manager? A: Effective Communication Skills | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 08:04:45 +0000

[...] avoid offending staff [...]

Comment on Techniques for Effective Communication: Five Easy Steps to Powerful Communication by Q: What are the skills needed to be a good manager? A: Effective Communication Skills | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 08:04:29 +0000

[...] make conversation worth listening to [...]

Comment on How to Maintain and Retain a Happy and Motivated Team by Q: What are the skills needed to be a good manager? A: Effective Communication Skills | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 08:04:13 +0000

[...] encouraging [...]

Comment on The Public Speaking Phobia by Lyfa Lee Zhure--Professional "Chiller"

Lyfa Lee Zhure--Professional "Chiller" — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 10:21:08 +0000

Great article, Trish! I can see how glossophobia really affects the very core of someone’s psyche. I, myself, have absolutely NO SHAME and feel quite natural in front of groups of people–so long as I am the “centerpiece”; outside of “public appearances”, I’m actually quite introverted to the point that I can’t even talk to the ladies. Go figure. Oh, well, it’s still a blessed existence! Keep up the good fight. Inner Peace, Eternal Love, and Abundant Blessings I bid you!

Comment on Techniques for Effective Communication: Five Easy Steps to Powerful Communication by The Importance of Communication Skills | expressyourselftosuccess.com

The Importance of Communication Skills | expressyourselftosuccess.com — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 23:09:42 +0000

[...] and provide valuable feedback. You can inspire, motivate and encourage your staff and employees. You can convey your ideas better to your boss, you can make interesting conversation and network easier and you can speak to groups of people [...]

Comment on The Public Speaking Phobia by Tim Ackerman

Tim Ackerman — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 02:23:18 +0000

Great and very informative article!

Fear in public speaking is just normal since you need to speak on the sea of unknown faces but with proper practice you will surely conquer those fears away.

Comment on The Importance of Communication Skills by Steven | The Emotion Machine

Steven | The Emotion Machine — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 03:46:20 +0000

You bring up some really important points and you accompany them with some very helpful advice. It hurts to see smart and creative people not meet their potentially solely due to underdeveloped communication skills. We all should practice to become better speakers.

Comment on Five Steps to Giving Good Constructive Feedback by The Importance of Communication Skills | expressyourselftosuccess.com

The Importance of Communication Skills | expressyourselftosuccess.com — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 08:05:13 +0000

[...] of success. You’re able to persuade people, influence others, negotiate effectively and provide valuable feedback. You can inspire, motivate and encourage your staff and employees. You can convey your ideas better [...]

Comment on Dealing with Conflict: How Struggles Can Make You — and Your Relationships — Stronger by Negotiation or an Argument in Disguise? | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Negotiation or an Argument in Disguise? | expressyourselftosuccess.com — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 08:02:33 +0000

[...] negotiating skills require thought and consideration. We often mistake our arguments for negotiations; this article outlines the important difference between the [...]

Comment on Ten Articles on Workplace Gossip: Negative Effects of Gossip by Formal / Informal Communication Channels | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Formal / Informal Communication Channels | expressyourselftosuccess.com — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 08:06:18 +0000

[...] and this communication that is sent through the organizational grapevine is often considered gossip or rumour. While grapevine communication can spread information quickly and can easily cross [...]

Comment on Improve Workplace Communication by Anthony

Anthony — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 10:00:21 +0000

I don’t think point number one can be over emphasised. Nothing makes a speaker feel like they are actually being listened to more than your devoted attention.
Two options; either stop and pay attention or politely tell them that now isn’t a good time.

Comment on Don’t Take It Personally by Meg

Meg — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 02:43:39 +0000

Wow, powerful stuff here! I’ve had a few such comments directed towards me lately, and I’ve decided to just remove myself from the situation for a bit. (Lucky for me, I can do so easily in this case.) This is nice because it lets me know that I wasn’t ever wrong for expressing my opinion in the first place, it was simply someone else reacting to what I said in a perceived negative way, when my comments were never intended as such.

Unfortunately, the fact that I still get upset when it happens doesn’t help. I definitely need to learn how to let it roll off my back and not take it to heart.

Laurie: It’s hard not to take it to heart when you’re misunderstood. I have to remind myself from time to time to just let it go and accept they have their own reasons for their reactions.

Thanks for your comment, Meg. I appreciate your stopping by!

Comment on Counteracting Workplace De-motivators by IT Consulting Guy

IT Consulting Guy — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:57:05 +0000

Comment on Acknowledgement: A Leadership Tool That’s Easy to Learn and Hard to Beat by Vinay Chaganti

Vinay Chaganti — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:45:32 +0000

This is so true. I accept this article word to word, though I must later think on acknowledgment reducing anonymity and irrelevance (that being my research area – anonymity).

However, I must say acknowledgment is not just limited to feedbacks on performance or the daily hellos and good-byes. It begins much before you know who you are dealing with, and then you know them, making acknowledgment more of a formal routine.

I am still learning management, but I have ventured into writing some stories that quote the significance of certain issues. My story on acknowledgment is at http://relishingsenses.wordpress.com/2009/12/22/acknowledgement/

I would really like you to read it and share your thoughts in a more generic sense.

- With Thanks,
Vinay Chaganti

Comment on Body Language and Interpretation: How to Find the Most Important Person in the Room by Lyfa Lee Zhure--Professional "Chiller"

Lyfa Lee Zhure--Professional "Chiller" — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:42:20 +0000

Great article! And though I was not aware of the “feet approach”, I write similar material in the companion book to my “message of awareness”: appearances are usually quite deceiving. I’ve come to realize that usually the most powerful people present at any event are…the wallflower types. Very humble. Sometimes quiet. What it all boils down to is simply: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ANYONE.

Comment on Body Language and Interpretation: How to Find the Most Important Person in the Room by Scott

Scott — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:21:43 +0000

Before becoming a Corporate Skills trainer, I spent the first 13+ years of my career as a financial services professional. It’s amazing how often you truly cannot “judge a book by it’s cover”.

For years, I always suspected there was some X-factor that could help identify the important person in the room. Now, I’ll be watching the feet in a small circle of people. Connections are EVERYTHING, but connecting with the wrong person is NOTHING! Thanks, Shari’!

Comment on Workplace Gossip – What to Do About It by Ten Articles on Workplace Gossip: Negative Effects of Gossip | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 08:06:01 +0000

[...] This is an article about workplace gossip previously posted on Express Yourself to Success Workplace Gossip: What to Do About It. [...]

Comment on To Be a Top Negotiator – Just Behave Like One, Part Two by To Be a Top Negotiator – Just Behave Like One, Part One | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:23:30 +0000

[...] This article will be posted in two parts because of its length. Click here to read part two of To Be a Top Negotiator – Just Behave Like One [...]

Comment on Counteracting Workplace De-motivators by Demotivators at Work: How to Effectively Demotivate Staff | expressyourselftosuccess.com

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:11:35 +0000

[...] a lot of information online on how to motivate staff and get work done effectively and efficiently. However, there’s little information on [...]

Comment on How To Organize An Impromptu Speech by Patrick Mathieu

Patrick Mathieu — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 11:32:04 +0000

So much of our life experience depends on our focus. When someone is focused on the phrase “impromptu speech” the experience can be one of panic. Instead, what if we changed that phrase to “conversation”? Afterall, daily conversation is nothing more than a big impromptu speech!

Years ago, I was a member of Toastmasters International. One of my favorite things about our meetings was something called “Table Topics”, which is a short impromptu talk. Because I chose to focus on it as nothing more than a one-sided conversation, I was quite good at it. In fact, I won the highest level of competition for Table Topics.

When I was at the final competition, I was surrounded by my fellow contestants, most of whom were nervously trying to “prepare” for an promptu speech. I found this approach very odd and somewhat amusing. When someone asked me what I was doing to prepare for the big event, I just smiled and said: “All week long, in my daily life, I’ve stopped using my prepared statements and just tried TALKING to people.”

The person who asked me the question didn’t get my joke and they didn’t get the point behind it either. Nor did they get the trophy!

Life is one big impromptu discussion. Isn’t THAT an empowering thought to hold the next time someone asks you to say a few words “off the cuff”?

-Patrick

Comment on Just Because You’re Talking . . . Doesn’t Mean I’m Listening by Lyfa Lee Zhure

Lyfa Lee Zhure — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 10:00:00 +0000

Great article! Wish it were a tad longer (you had me at “hello”!).
I’m trying to break into the world of Motivational Speaking (and companion book) with a message that is so fresh and revolutionary compared to what most other gurus are talking about. For the time being, I’m trying to absorb as much literature as I can to effectively get my message heard by the masses.

Comment on Always Leave Your Audience Wanting More by Lyfa Lee Zhure

Lyfa Lee Zhure — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:49:50 +0000

Great article! Thank you so much! I’m trying to break into the Motivational Circuit, myself, and could use all the wonderful advice I can dig up!

My message is so refreshingly DIFFERENT than what everyone else seems to be talking about, and my rather unorthodox demeanor makes for a “shock value”-type delivery. I hope to set the world of Motivational Speaking on its hind legs…

Comment on Public Speaking: Make It Move to Make It Memorable by Rocky | R O C K O N O V A.COM

Rocky | R O C K O N O V A.COM — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 05:57:10 +0000

Insightful article, Nancy!

I know my favorite speakers are always energetic and move around a lot. Whether through their facial expressions, hand gestures or general craziness, they make for a very entertaining presentation.

Comment on How to Talk to Shy People by How could a Shy Person Become a Yoga Teacher? | All about Yoga

How could a Shy Person Become a Yoga Teacher? | All about Yoga — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:01:01 +0000

[...] How to Talk to Shy People | expressyourselftosuccess.com [...]

Comment on Making Small Talk Easy by Jenna Sieracki

Jenna Sieracki — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:10:30 +0000

I really enjoyed reading this! I completely agree with staying away from gossip, criticism, and negative comments, because not only may it offend someone around you, or the person you are talking to, but it does not allow relationships to grow in healthy manners.

Laurie: Hi Jenna. I’m glad you found the articule useful. I hope you stop by and visit again.

Comment on How Do You Respond to a “Take It or Leave It” Demand? by Joan

Joan — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:07:37 +0000

This article is short but succinct. I’m currently in a situation where I’ve been the one to say “Take it or leave it.” While there are some points I’m not prepared to move on, if the other party was willing to be open, negotiate and “change the nature of the deal”, we could get somewhere positive. Interestingly, while this article is referring to making a deal/purchase, I’m working on a volunteer project – but the same philosophy applies. We’ve had to take another piece of Dr. Karrass’ advise “protest to higher management” – and, he’s right again, there are repercussions.

Joan

Laurie I’m glad you found the article useful. Dr. Karrass has a lot of experience and good advice. Thanks for visiting, Joan. I really appreciate it.

Comment on How Do You Respond to a “Take It or Leave It” Demand? by Margie Morris

Margie Morris — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:28:33 +0000

Your content is excellent and I always take away so much valuable information. Thank you very much for your contributions to improving working relationships and environments!

Margie Morris
CEO
Grow New Life

Laurie: Hello Margie,
Thank you for your comment; I really appreciate your generous words.
I’ve more plans for content in the new year so please visit again and check it out!
Best,
Laurie

Comment on Even Professional Public Speakers Make Mistakes – Here Are The Top 10 by Jacob

Jacob — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:05:38 +0000

It does help, Thank you very much, and waiting for more guidance from you

Comment on Sharpening Your Negotiating Skills: Seven Keys to Become a Powerful Negotiator by Darren Good

Darren Good — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:30:52 +0000

You could be the most effective Negotiator in the world but if you can’t handle your emotional state everything is going to disappear quickly. So all of your skills won’t be available to you. There are many ways to practice emotional state control, one is the traditional method of exposure therapy and a second is borrowed from NLP – one is traditional and the other is a more pioneering method.

Laurie: Hi Darren,
Thank you for leaving your comment and for your suggestion to practice emotional state control. A negative emotional state can sabotage your skills and the negotiation.

I checked out your website and you offer some very interesting programs.

Anyone looking for some conflict resolution training should check out Darren’s company, Good Sense at http://www.itmakesgoodsense.com.

Comment on Telling Someone Something That’s Uncomfortable to Say by Regina

Regina — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:53:19 +0000

Great article. how do you approach an employee that wears blouses cut too low and exposes more skin than allowed? Any suggestions on how to handle this dress code violation?

Laurie: Hi Regina,
Thanks for stopping by and for the question.

Some companies have dress codes written out that stipulate the types of clothes that are appropriate in that work environment and subsequent penalties if the code is not followed (ie. sent home without pay until appropriate attire is worn). If your company has such a dress code (one that is formalized and written out), then a reminder email to all staff about dress requirements, with the actual dress code document attached, may help.

If that doesn’t work, a colleague (I’d suggest a female colleague) take her aside and let her know of the document and that she may want to look it over so not to be reprimanded “officially” (again- sent home without pay).

However, if there is no document that outlines required dress (no formalized company code = no violation) then that’s a bit trickier. In this case, it’s more likely left to the opinion and discretion of the individual – and those opinions can vary dramatically from culture to culture. Since I don’t know anything about the particular issue that you’re referring to, it’s difficult to respond (ie. whether or not she reports to you, she’s a colleague, if your company has a human resources department which could handle the “situation”)

Using the wording from the example in the above post, you could substitute words for your particular situation without saying “you’re exposing too much skin.” You could say, “I know you work very hard to ensure all your assignments are done to the best of your ability and you’d probably like to know if there’s something that, despite your good work, may distract others from your abilities. I believe that I should let you know that you need to pay more attention to creating a professional look in the way that you dress.”

You could have some pictures of the type of dress that would be more suitable and point out the length of the skirt and the blouse’s collar and how it is buttoned, suggesting that she would be perceived as more professional dressed this way. If she asks for specifics about the way she already dresses, focus on what she can do instead of how she is looking. You could easily say “Even just doing up the top couple of buttons on your blouse would give a more professional impression,” or “choosing a more closed neckline would suit a professional image better.”

I guess the key here is to be supportive of her talents, do not criticize, and offer ideas on what to do or how to resolve what you see as a potential issue that would negatively affect her career. Remember, unless your company has a dress code, you can say something and she doesn’t have to take your advice. Even in the post I’ve written above, the person receiving the message about bad breath may not want to do anything about it and go on smelling. Her choice. At least you tried to advise her the best you could.

Comment on Attitude is Everything by Positively Present

Positively Present — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:51:27 +0000

Attitude IS everything. It’s so important in all segments of your life, but there’s definitely something unique about a work attitude. Some people have the absolute WORST attitudes about their jobs and it really brings them (and the people around them!) down.

Comment on Interpersonal Communication Skill: Know What You Need to Communciate by Positively Present

Positively Present — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 12:14:46 +0000

SUCH a great communication post. Communication is one of my weak attributes and this post provides such great insight for me. Thanks so much!

Comment on Tips for Communication: Take an Inventory of Your Communication Habits by Positively Present

Positively Present — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:57:05 +0000

Great post! I definitely learned a lot from this one and have a lot of work to do in terms of assessing my own communication habits.

Laurie Me too!

Comment on Your Role As a Presenter by Karl Staib - Work Happy Now

Karl Staib - Work Happy Now — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 22:58:57 +0000

It’s amazing for me to watch professional speakers who don’t smile. They look like it’s such a chore to be up there. When we can just relax and have fun with the audience, they feel this and treat us with respect.

Laurie: It’s true – audiences often mirror what the speaker does. Thanks for visiting and commenting, Karl.

Comment on Seeing Through the Mistake by Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings

Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:48:57 +0000

I can relate. While I like to see myself as a DIY handy woman, alas, most times it would be far more efficient if I paid someone else to do it! Having said that, good on you for giving it a go. At least you got to spend the day with your friend!

Laurie: Thanks for looking on the bright side of this “situation,” Sami. I think I learned the hard way – as did my friend – to just call someone who knows what they’re doing. Of course, I did learn what I should do next time…

Comment on Presentations – Five Irresistible Principles by jonathanfigaro

jonathanfigaro — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:30:59 +0000

Turing your passion into something tangible is a great step for you to take. Allow yourself to do what you love by taking daily step. Don’t allow you self to become overcome with stress or anxiety. Just think positive and take small steps.

Great post!

Laurie: Thinking positive and small steps – great advice! Thanks, Jonathan.

Comment on Conversation is Give and Take by Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching

Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 05:21:57 +0000

Thanks for this Laurie — it’s an interesting issue to explore, I think, if we find ourselves not being curious about another person. What belief is it about the people we’re with that has us shut off our interest in them — are they too old, young, attractive, culturally different, or something else? I think looking at this issue can help us learn a lot about ourselves and the assumptions we might be making about the world.

Laurie: Very interesting take on this, Chris. Belief system and the assumptions it leads us to…I wonder what Ted’s were. Thanks for visiting and for the thoughtful comment. You’ve got me thinking!

Comment on Conversation is Give and Take by Positively Present

Positively Present — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:42:37 +0000

excellent post. conversation really IS give and take!

Laurie: Hi Dani! Thanks for stopping by again. It’s always so great to see you here.

Comment on Top Seven Tips For Reducing Workplace Negativity by Positively Present

Positively Present — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 21:54:36 +0000

Great post! Negativity is bad news and it definitely has a very bad impact on the work place. Great suggestions here!

Comment on How Are You? by Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings

Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:02:55 +0000

What a “great” idea Laurie! Love it. When I go through a check out at the grocery store the check out person always asks something along the lines of “how are you?” I make a habit of saying really good (will change that to “great” now) and asking them how their day is going. It’s amazing how few people will ask them in return and I find they generally appreciate it.

Laurie: I like that you ask them about their day also – and you seem like the kind of person who would actually listen to their answer too. That makes a big difference. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate it.

Comment on How Are You? by Patrick Mathieu

Patrick Mathieu — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:53:53 +0000

When someone would ask my father “How are you?” he would always reply with either: “Any better and I couldn’t stand it” or “Any better and I’d be twins”. Those answers made people laugh and it made him laugh – good cheer all around!

Laurie: LOL! Made me laugh too! I think I would have written a different post if I had known these responses first. Depending on who asks, I’m going to use your father’s answers for a laugh. Thanks for sharing them – they’re “great!”

Comment on How Are You? by Positively Present

Positively Present — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:46:08 +0000

Love this post! Way to take an average situation and find a way to make it, well, great!

Laurie: Thanks, Dani. I’m glad you liked it.

Comment on Socially Charming by Patrick Mathieu

Patrick Mathieu — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 16:35:56 +0000

I think you nailed it when you mentioned how Louise makes people feel.

I’ve seen this quote attributed to Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Laurie: Hey Patrick! Thanks for visiting and for the quote – it’s a good one.

Comment on Socially Charming by Positively Present

Positively Present — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:22:18 +0000

Great post! I struggle with being social sometimes but you’ve made some great points in this post.

Laurie: I have a hard time with it too so I appreciate learning from others who seem really comfortable with it. Thanks for visiting!

Comment on FREE eBOOK with eNewsletter:Effective Interpersonal Skills by » Saturday Short Film: Think Outside the Box

» Saturday Short Film: Think Outside the Box — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:42:06 +0000

[...] FREE eBook: What You Need to Succeed | FREE eBook: The Good Negotiator | FREE eBook: The Good Speaker | FREE eNEWSLETTER | [...]

Comment on FREE eBOOK with eNewsletter:Effective Interpersonal Skills by » Pay It Forward

» Pay It Forward — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:13:00 +0000

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Comment on Be Kind by Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings

Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:18:43 +0000

LOVE this post Laurie! If everyone focused on being kind all the time, the world would be a far more peaceful, loving and fun place. If you haven’t seen it already, you should totally check out the blog http://www.operationnice.com. It’s full of examples of kindness.

Laurie: Hi Sami ~ Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. Thanks too for the address of Operation Nice. I’m familiar with it and it sure would have been nice of me to have included it in the post. I’m glad you’re here to have made sure it’s here!

Which reminds me about Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval’s New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller The Power of Nice. Little book, big read. Even recounts their experience with Donald Trump being nice. Check it out!

Comment on The Importance of Greeting Others in the First 90-Seconds by Friday Question - Relationships as a Top Priority | Life, Laughs & Lemmings

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:41:17 +0000

[...] I’m not awesome at this but I’m getting much better). There’s a great article on The Importance of Greeting Others in The First 90 Seconds by Laurie over at Express Yourself to [...]

Comment on Am I Communicating With Respect? Ten Steps to Communicating Respectfully by Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching

Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 19:03:09 +0000

Thanks for this. Normally respect for the other person is something I can feel in my body when it’s there — my chest, my heart area, feels open. If it feels closed, it’s usually because I’m tightening up some muscles in that area, and breathing deeply and letting those muscles relax can be a helpful practice.

Comment on Am I Communicating With Respect? Ten Steps to Communicating Respectfully by Positively Present

Positively Present — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 19:04:49 +0000

Great post about communicating with respect. While I’d immediately answer the question by saying, “Yes, of course I’m communicating with respect!” that’s not always the case. You’ve addressed a very important topic that affects both work and personal interactions. Thank you!

Comment on Why are we rude? by Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings

Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:11:39 +0000

I think you hit the nail on the head with; “Perhaps the best way to rid ourselves of rudeness is to focus less on ourselves and more on those around us.”

My Mum uses a great technique if someone is rude to her. All she does is ask if they are having a bad day. As soon as she says it, the person generally realises they have been rude and their demeanour changes instantly. I’ve also heard of a store here in Aus that refuses to serve customers who are rude to their employees – an interesting way of tackling rudeness.

Comment on Good Communication Skills: Speak to be Understood by Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching

Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 03:46:48 +0000

Thanks for this. Another strategy that works for me in public speaking is just to feel my feet on the ground — when I do this I feel centered and I don’t feel as swayed by the need to get the audience’s approval or worrying about whether someone is bored and so on.

Comment on Good Communication Skills: Speak to be Understood by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:10:06 +0000

This is great! I’ve been assisting a professional communicator for the past six weeks, and oddly enough, they don’t give directions very well. I’m a smart girl and have always been able to sense what people really mean, but this person… eesh! I just want to look at them and say, “You are not very clear!” (Then I want to point them to this blog!)

Another thing I’ve found that helps (in a marketing communications setting, especially) is knowing how the audience likes to be communicated with. Whether it’s visually, narratively, loudly, softly, what-have-you — when we know what and where our target is, it’s easier to hit.

Comment on Good Communication Skills: Speak to be Understood by Positively Present

Positively Present — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:20:35 +0000

Wonderful post on communicating (something I could certainly use help with!). I really appreciate all of the great information here.

Comment on Thinking on Your Feet by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 17:46:21 +0000

“Jerk store is the line! Jerk store! Yess!” (I don’t suppose you’re a Seinfeld fan, are you?!)
This was a fun and timely post. I was just in a situation last night where someone caught me off-guard and my response could have been much better than it was. Eh well… better luck next time! Thanks for your suggestions (who doesn’t love improv?).

Comment on Thinking on Your Feet by Positively Present

Positively Present — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 05:49:29 +0000

You’ve made some great points about thinking on your feet. It’s not always easy to do, but the first step is having courage!

Comment on Leadership Communication During Uncertain Times by Jocelyn at I TAKE OFF THE MASK

Jocelyn at I TAKE OFF THE MASK — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:18:36 +0000

Good communications in times of instability or change is very important to lead people in one direction and in an atmosphere of trust. Nice post!

Laurie: Thanks for stopping by, Jocelyn.

Comment on Leadership Communication During Uncertain Times by Giovanna Garcia

Giovanna Garcia — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:12:24 +0000

Hi Debra

Nice post, great information. I agree there is no perfect way to communicate news that will cause uncertainty, you are right about sharing it as soon as possible. other wise people lose trust in you.
Thanks for sharing
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action

Laurie: Thanks for visiting, Giovanna.

Comment on Making Space: Guidelines for Respecting Personal Space by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 19:16:35 +0000

I still have to watch myself with how much personal space I sometimes (unconsciously) require, but as a result of my own needs, I find I’m more aware of others’. I tend to overcompensate and give people I’m near (in whatever capacity) as much space as I can.

Interesting post…
I’m curious, what prompted you to write about it?!

Laurie: Thanks for visiting and commenting, Megan. To answer your question, I was thinking about the amount of personal space I need and how I react when I don’t get enough and then it dawned on me that I’ve always been so concerned about my own space that I didn’t think so much about what others need. (Isn’t that awful?!) This also led me to think about what others may consider their space that I don’t – like the office example and “my” desk. While I wouldn’t care if someone went through my desk at work, I’ve noticed that others consider it a kind of violation and if that’s how they feel, I should respect that and not take the sticky pad off their desk. oops. (even if the pad was put back…) So that’s where the personal space thoughts originated.

Comment on Making Space: Guidelines for Respecting Personal Space by Positively Present

Positively Present — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:43:44 +0000

I love this post. I’m a huge believer of a lot of personal space and I’m always surprised when others don’t feel (or act) the same way. You do a great job of addressing the concept of personal space in this post.

Laurie: Thanks for visiting, commenting and the compliment, PP. I appreciate it.

Comment on Making Space: Guidelines for Respecting Personal Space by Stephen - Rat Race Trap

Stephen - Rat Race Trap — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:34:08 +0000

Laurie, really sound advice. This is something that is too often ignored in our inconsiderate society anymore.

“Another invisible personal space, or perhaps this is an invasion of personal space, is the sound that enters into it. Invading another’s personal space with your personal noise is a sure way to cause friction. Talking loudly on the cell phone, ear-splitting, cackling laughter in the otherwise quiet restaurant, or a neighbor blaring stereo are all types of aural assaults on personal space. Hearing unwanted noise makes what could have been a good time into one that is stressful, frustrating, and not at all enjoyable.”

Laurie: Hi Stephen – Thanks for visiting. I appreciate it.

Comment on Good Tips on Poor Listening by Suzie

Suzie — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:30:42 +0000

You forgot clicking and chewing gum.

Laurie: Great additions to the list. Thanks Suzie.

Comment on Good Tips on Poor Listening by Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings

Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:09:09 +0000

Great tips Laurie, or rather, “non-tips”! I particularly dislike the “look away” when I’m talking. I need to work more on not running with the topic. Great reminder. Thanks.

Laurie: Hi Sami – I don’t like the “look away” either. When someone does that for too long I just stop talking and sometimes they don’t even notice! But I think that’s more because I was talking about something really boring and should have known better… Thanks for coming by.

Comment on How Words Add Fuel to the Fire by Vi | Maximizing Utility

Vi | Maximizing Utility — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:56:59 +0000

Hi,
This is a fabulously interesting post. Interesting, because too much in my life is plagued by indecision. I find that in my life I have a need for more direction, not less. I end up in a Merry-Go-Round of “Where do you want to go eat?” “I don’t care, what do you want?” “It doesn’t matter to me, you pick.” “No, you pick.” ARGH! It’s so frustrating! I find that more assertiveness is a good thing.

This post also makes me think of Geert Hofstede’s Power Distance Index. Clearly, you are appealing to societies with low power distance, ie cultures in which power is distributed evenly.

Laurie: lol – I’ve done the back-and-forth indecision too many times too! I was just reading up on the Power Distance Index because of your comment. I wasn’t familiar with it so thanks for mentioning it – very interesting!

Comment on Good Tips on Poor Listening by Positively Present

Positively Present — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:25:34 +0000

This is great. I’m not the best listener in the world and I need to work on it. These anti-tips have really helped me to identify some of the things that I need to stop doing. Thanks!

Laurie: I still catch myself clicking a pen from time to time, but at least I’m becoming aware of it. Thanks for the comment.

Comment on Good Tips on Poor Listening by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 10:58:20 +0000

What a fun way to approach a topic – come in from completely the other side. A branding consultant I worked with once did the same thing regarding customer service. It was a silly exercise and one that got a lot of laughs, but it highlighted some important issues and helped our company then craft the more serious & positive list with ease.

Laurie: Hi Megan – glad you liked the approach. Sometimes I have to look at what bugs me before I can figure out what doesn’t…as long as I don’t get hung up for too long complaining about it, that is! Thanks for visiting again.

Comment on How Words Add Fuel to the Fire by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 10:51:11 +0000

This is great! I frequently find myself annoyed by some but not by others, and it could be over essentially the same topic. Like you wrote (and very well, I might add) it’s all in how we perceive the message being directed at us: empowering or limiting.

Thanks for the tips!

Laurie: Funny how we’re affected by different people over the same thing. I wish I could take credit for writing this post, but it was written by Anne Warfield and, yes, she did write it well! Thanks for coming by, Megan.

Comment on How Words Add Fuel to the Fire by Stephen - Rat Race Trap

Stephen - Rat Race Trap — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 10:27:47 +0000

Hello, interestingly when I read the first two emails I didn’t see anything wrong with either of them. It’s probably because I’m guilty of too much dictating. Thanks for reminding me about this.

Laurie: I can totally understand dictating – especially around someone who can’t make up her mind! Sometimes, it really does seem easier, but I guess that depends on who you’re asking.

Comment on Three Steps to Resolve Your Complaints by Karl Staib - Work Happy Now

Karl Staib - Work Happy Now — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:34:35 +0000

So many times we think of a great solution, but we don’t try to implement it. We can’t be afraid to “do it” because more often than not we will surprise ourselves.

Laurie: True. We’re more capable of more things than we give ourselves credit. Thanks for stopping by, Karl.

Comment on Three Steps to Resolve Your Complaints by Positively Present

Positively Present — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:02:12 +0000

These are great suggestions. Personally, I hate complaining (even though I definitely do it). It never gets me anywhere and it just makes the situation seem worse. These days, when I catch myself complaining, I really try to think about how I can see the situation in a positive light OR what I can do to make the situation better. Usually, it works!

Laurie: It’s interesting how many possibilities (and opportunities) are “out there” when we stop complaining and start fixing. Thanks for visiting, Dani.

Comment on Three Steps to Resolve Your Complaints by Vi | Maximizing Utility

Vi | Maximizing Utility — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:31:03 +0000

Sometimes people feel the need to vent or rant, just to get things off their chest. For most everyone in my life, I am apparently the person to go to in order to do just that. On one hand, it’s nice to know that I’m somehow good at this role of listener, ie. person to complain, vent, rant to. On the other hand, it gets tiring.

Laurie: Agreed…on everything you wrote. I often end up being the “rantee” or receiver of the rant too. It’s not so bad if I know that when they vent and get it overwith they feel better. It’s when they go on for months on end (this is usually a work-related rant) that it gets to be tiring. Thanks for visiting and commenting, Vi; I appreciate it.

Comment on Three Steps to Resolve Your Complaints by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:03:48 +0000

I had a friend who used to call me and complain about stuff over and over again (the same stuff, usually). I reached a point where I’d let her get it out into the open and then I’d say, “So what are you going to do about it?” That became my approach for many years with friends who were chronic complainers. One day, that first friend called me up and said, “You know, when you asked me that question I realized I could actually do something about it, so I did!”

This was a great post — It gets me thinking about what life would be like if no one ever complained!

Laurie: Wow – what a great result to have your friend come back to you and tell you that you empowered her. Just that one simple question moved her from reactive complaining to positive action. Brilliant!

Comment on Taking No for an Answer by Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings

Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:26:13 +0000

Such a great post. I first learnt about the importance of saying no from the book by Cheryl Richardson “Take Time for Your Life”. Ever since reading it, if there’s something I don’t want to attend or I already have too much on my plate, instead of feeling obligated and going along just to please, I now say “thanks for the invite but I can’t make it this time”. It works really well.

I’m also careful to not make others feel bad for not accepting an invite from me. In fact, I support their decision because I know how important it is to not overload yourself.

Laurie: I’ve got to get that book! Thanks for mentioning it, Sami. Good for you for your consideration when others say no; I’m sure they appreciate your understanding – that’s what friends do.

Comment on Taking No for an Answer by Positively Present

Positively Present — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:19:36 +0000

Having been raised in a very “yes” environment, I have a huge problem with the word “no.” Lately I’ve been realizing that “no” is okay. We’re not going to have everything we want all the time and sometimes it’s that “no” that makes us work harder and better to get what we want.

Laurie: “Sometimes it’s that “no” that makes us work harder and better to get what we want.” Good observation – and one that makes us improve and not take a defeatist position. Thanks for coming by again, Dani.

Comment on Taking No for an Answer by Vi | Maximizing Utility

Vi | Maximizing Utility — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 13:22:47 +0000

I agree that we should all accept no gracefully, but I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong with using excuses as social lubricants. No one wants to be rejected. No one wants their feelings hurt. The excuse does not need to be elaborate. It can even be completely true! Like, “I would love to go the movies with you, but I’ve just been so busy lately that I’d rather spend some time alone.” But sometimes, there is a pesky person that you genuinely do not like, and sometimes, it’s better to give a series of excuses and hopefully that person will get the hint. Otherwise, you have to actually “break up” with said person, and if you’ve ever witnessed such a thing in real life, it’s not pretty. It’s fine to break up with a boyfriend, it’s weird when you try to do that with an acquaintance. It causes lots of unnecesary hostile feelings.

Laurie: I agree with you that there are times when excuses make it easier to hear no (I like your descriptor – “social lubricants”). For me, when it becomes a constant concern (and sometimes stress) for the giver to say one or else they feel obliged to go or do something they don’t want to, that’s when it’s an issue that needs to be dealt with (by just not making excuses anymore). Also, for me, “I would love to go the movies with you, but I’ve just been so busy lately that I’d rather spend some time alone,” is a reason, not an excuse. What I find unfortunate here is that the reason is one that someone can take offense to (perhaps because of their own insecurity or other personal issue) so the giver makes up an excuse to cover for what they may consider a weak reason, even if it is valid and should be respected. I get what you mean about the pesky person…that can have ugly outcome written all over it.

Thanks for visiting, Vi, and for your thoughtful input.

Comment on Taking No for an Answer by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 11:47:37 +0000

About four or five years ago, I made a conscious effort to stop adding excuses to the things I was saying no to. I realized I was becoming an excuse rolodex (and not always being truthful in an effort to protect someone’s feelings). Life got much easier after that, and if someone wanted an excuse, I could share the honest one. Since I’m so good at saying no, I also taught myself to become better at hearing no. Sometimes I still have to remind myself, though, that it’s not about me (”Don’t Take It Personally”).

Laurie: “Excuse rolodex” – good description! It took me a while to stop making excuses; in the end, it was the stress of having to give excuses that made me stop. Thanks for sharing your experience, Megan, and for stopping by.

Comment on Are You an Annoying Coworker? by Stephen - Rat Race Trap

Stephen - Rat Race Trap — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:45:40 +0000

Great article! Guilty! I do some of these things things by force of habit. I need to do better. I’ve bent or break every rule I’ve ever encountered.

Laurie: Yeah, I’m guilty too! Isn’t there a saying that rules were made to be broken? Some work rules should be broken more often… Thanks for stopping by, Stephen.

Comment on Are You an Annoying Coworker? by Positively Present

Positively Present — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 03:36:28 +0000

Really good topic and something to consider. I don’t think I do any of these things, but I better pay close attention next time I’m in the office…

Laurie: I don’t think I do these either, although there certainly are times when I have the urge to tell someone, “I told you so.”

Comment on Five Ways to Make Others Feel Included by Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 11:38:27 +0000

What a great post. I was just thinking along these lines yesterday as I passed by a “helping hand” in the grocery store and didn’t look at him & smile, as I do with so many others. He said hi to me after I passed, which of course just amplified my feelings of, “What is wrong with me that I didn’t give him the same courtesy I give other people?” I stopped, turned around and returned his kind gesture. But it got me thinking about my ego, its tendencies to want to include these people but not those, and the like. Your post reminded me of things I need to be more aware of moving forward. Thank you!

Laurie: Interesting comment, Megan; thanks for sharing your experience. It’s interesting how we have a kind of unconscious selection of who we include and who we don’t. I’ve got to remind myself to be more aware too so I don’t unintentionally offend someone (and then feel guilty and beat myself up over it!). Thanks for visiting, Megan.