Courtesy is a Daily Act, Not a Random Act
For whatever reasons, I’m hearing a lot about random acts of kindness. I think it’s fun, to be sneakily kind on the side, but it’s made me think (again) about where courtesy ends and random acts begin. I don’t think courtesy does end, but it doesn’t seem to be as ‘in’ as random acts of kindness. These thoughts made me think of an article I wrote some time ago and I thought I’d revisit it. While it’s written largely from a work-environment perspective, I think it applies to many other aspects of our lives.
Random or not, anonymous or not, the world is a better place when kindness and compassion for one another flourishes. But what happened to the non-random, attach-a-name-to kindness that we call courtesy? What happened to treating everyone we meet with respect and consideration? This was the courtesy we learned about before we could spell our own names. “Be nice, play fair, and share.” It was part of our day-to-day way of living and it didn’t matter if it was given anonymously or not, or to strangers or friends, acquaintances or family. We don’t seem to see much of it anymore.
Let’s face it. At work, we’re most courteous to the people who we’re trying to get something from – like a stellar job review, a promotion, or a better computer. But courtesy should be extended to everyone – and by everyone I mean our staff, our assistant, the receptionist, the security guard, the cleaning staff – you get the picture. The initials behind our names and the corporate positions we hold do not exempt us from treating others well at all times.
Courtesy is the simple, thoughtful words and actions that take seconds to do and have lasting effects. It’s greeting the receptionist in the morning instead of walking by pretending you didn’t see her; saying “thank you” when someone from the mailroom drops off a package; acknowledging the person who set up the sandwiches in the conference room for your lunchtime meeting; or buying a second cup coffee and bringing it to your assistant. Next time you’re in the elevator with someone struggling to hold three armloads of files, instead of saying what you think is a witty comment like, “You certainly have your hands full!” say, “Can I give you a hand with that?”
Don’t get me wrong. Random acts of kindness are wonderful and can be fun at the same time. However, they are in addition to our daily courtesies. The side-effects of treating everyone with respect all the time helps to reduce stress and relieve tension that eat away at our companies’ productivity. Best of all, it creates an environment where Monday mornings aren’t that bad and goodwill is contagious.
Courtesy belongs in the workplace and should not left by the revolving doors of our office buildings from 9-5. Like random acts of kindness has ‘Kindness Days,’ we could launch a campaign to bring courtesy back into the workplace and we could give it a name, like The Courtesy Crusade, or designate a day to it or create bumper stickers. Instead of doing all that and spending our energy making courtesy an event, let’s just do it, everyday, quietly and simply.
I agree with what you are saying, but I also think some people are more attuned with being courteous and/or performing random acts of kindness than others. I also think most people are so caught up in their own little universe they forget to be courteous by default. Especially in the workplace, the day to day grind, same old same old, most people just want to get through their day and back home again (or somewhere else) where they would rather be.
Laurie: That’s true. Some people just “are” courteous and by being so are more inclined to do RAK, others don’t notice it either way. Perhaps if we were more attuned to positive actions, by ourselves and others, we wouldn’t see work as the same old grind.
Thanks for visiting, Rowe; I’m glad you came by.
Laurie, I wonder if this is one of those silver linings we could begin to see emerge after the current economic recession, for as painful as this period is for us, our behaviors are changing for the better in many ways. Less consumerism, less focus on things versus people? Less playing with our toys and more enjoyment of conversation with others? The more we engage with others the more comfortable we are at doing so, and the more skilled we become at the social graces, being more thoughtful versus hurried.
Laurie: Let’s hope this is the gift we’ll receive from our unfortunate economic climate. We’d certainly be better off and much happier. Thanks for visiting, Rosa.