Comments on: Criticism and Feedback Aren’t the Same

By: carla

carla — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 20:50:10 +0000

I have to remember to start with the positive. Its too easy to point out what is wrong, we forget to mentions what’s right. Great post!

Laurie: Exactly. Sometimes our attention is so focused on what’s wrong that we end up missing the good stuff. Thanks for stopping by, Carla; I’m glad you did.

By: Giovanna Garcia

Giovanna Garcia — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:45:58 +0000

Great tips on how to give feedback. My favorite is what you said about: ” Having ideas for improvement.” That is what make the different between Criticism Vs Feedback. My feeling is that a not so positive comment with meaningful suggestions are Feedback. A not so positive comment with no value to offer is more like a criticism.

Thank you,
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action

Laurie: That’s a good way to look at it. It’s all in what we do after we state the not so positive. Thanks for your observation.

By: Kelly@SHE-POWER

Kelly@SHE-POWER — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:15:09 +0000

laurie, reading this my first thought was while this has obvious implications for work, this also offers parents something to think about. Do we criticize or provide feedback for our kids? Criticism has the power to do damage if not handled well, whereas feedback that is calm and delivered with empathy and with a helpful mindset offers guidance and opportunity for growth. I would suggest that for teens this is especially important since it’s hard for a know-it-all teenager to handle being wrong or feeling put down

Kelly

Laurie: Well said, Kelly. Since I don’t have children, I didn’t think about applying a feedback approach to them. I see now from you, and Acooba, that there would be room for this at home. “Delivered with empathy” to “offer guidance” – I like how you worded that. Thanks for taking the time to come by and visit.

By: Acooba

Acooba — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:00:13 +0000

Laurie,
Thank you for this wise, wonderful and inspiring post. I especially appreciated:
1) your characterization of feedback as “information with the goal of improvement;”
2) encouraging feedback to be honest, respectful, and supportive;
3) your reminder to safe guard the relationship; and
4) the emphasis on collaboration on ideas for improvement.
I believe that these same principles should be applied at home, particularly with regard to child-rearing.

Laurie: Thank you for your lovely comment, Acooba. Not being a parent, I didn’t think about these in regard to children (to spouses, yes!); your point is good. Thanks for visiting; I appreciate it.

By: Evelyn Lim

Evelyn Lim — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 05:05:21 +0000

Great post!! Feedback is neutral. It is not about judgement but observation and suggestions on how to do things better. If we can note the distinction, we will be able to choose our words differently and view things in a more positive perspective.

When we provide feedback, the energy of how we present it is important. Are we coming across as pushy, criticizing, judging? Also, sometimes fewer words may create a bigger impact than coming across with a long list of what-to-do.

Laurie: Thanks for the great input, Evelyn. Feedback IS neutral and it’s helpful to remember that so the outcome is the best we can make it. Thanks for visiting.

By: Roger - A Content Life

Roger - A Content Life — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:52:20 +0000

Good advice! I think the hardest part is #2. You have to have an attitude of helping the person improve rather than anger.

Laurie: I think #2 is the hardest also. Often the reason we even give feedback is based on something that has gone wrong and needs improvement so it’s hard to step back and look for what’s good in the situation. Thanks for stopping by, Roger.