How Are You?
by Laurie Wilhelm
I interact with quite a few people throughout my day and am frequently asked, “How are you?” It’s a common question, one that flows nicely after “Hello” but it’s not always meant to be answered, like when you’re passing someone in the hallway and he asks how you are but keeps walking, not waiting for any meaningful response. Why bother to ask if you’re not going to hang around for the answer?
We ask this because it seems polite or we don’t have anything else to say. But asking it really isn’t the issue. Not bothering to listen to the answer is.
Instead of thinking any further about why people ask this question without any intention of listening to the answer, I’ve decided that from now on, I’m going to respond with “Great!” Not “OK.” Not “fine.” Not “Good, thank you.” But I’m going to say an enthusiastic, positive, smile-on-my-face “Great!”
It’s not that I expect that someone’s going to hear it and pay attention, but I know I will. Even if I’m not actually feeling great, I’ll use this how-are-you opportunity as a reminder to check in with myself: “How am I?” I want to feel great but if I’m not, why not? What should I be doing to make me feel great? How can I change what I’m doing or thinking to feel great?
Sometimes it’s easy to forget to keep tabs on ourselves and these are little wake-up calls throughout the day that can help us take more control and responsibility on how we’re feeling. I believe that using this often-asked question for my own purpose will help me avoid succumbing to the daily monotony that creates a “ho-hum” life experience. If I choose to feel great, I have to do things or think in a way that makes me feel great and I’ll use “How are you?” to remind me of that. With a bit more attention on ourselves and how we feel, when we can respond with “Great!” we may actually mean it.
