Improving Communication Skills: Ask for What You Need
by Laurie Wilhelm
Just ask. It’s as simple as that.
The problem is that we make it difficult to ask for a variety of reasons. Some are that we don’t want to:
- be an inconvenience
- impose
- admit we need assistance
- draw attention to ourselves
- seem weak, inadequate or not good enough
- afraid of rejection
- appear unable to do it on our own
Or we’re just too proud.
Many successful people ask for what they need because they know that if they don’t ask, they might not succeed. In other words, they succeed because they ask.
Here are a few effective communication skills tips on how to ask for what you want:
Be clear and specific
Don’t let the someone try to guess what it is that you need. Tell them specifically what you need from them and they’ll tell you if they can do it.
Don’t make excuses for why you’re asking
Excuses and reasons are two different things. You can explain why you’re asking so there’s a better understanding of the situation. Excuses, on the other hand, simply create drama that serve no use to you or the other person.
Don’t beg
It’s OK to ask for what you need. If you have to beg, you’re probably talking to the wrong person.
Accept that you can’t control the response you receive
All you can do is ask. They may say no, they may say yes. Accept both graciously and respectfully. While it’s easier to do that when someone says yes, be prepared to take no for an answer and move on. No need to dwell on it. The longer you dwell on someone’s no, the longer you keep yourself away from someone else’s yes.
Not only is it acceptable to ask for what you need, by doing so, you’re providing someone else with the opportunity to give. There can be no giving if there’s no one to receive. So ask away!
