Social Skills: How to Stand Out from the Crowd
by Laurie Wilhelm
OK – maybe not “stand out” from the crowd but certainly be noticed and liked by the people you’re with. The easiest way to do this is to be attentive. On a tactical level, what does it mean to be attentive to others? Here are a few tips to add to your interpersonal intelligence that, when used together, demonstrate attentiveness towards others.
Acknowledge people you know
When you see someone you know, go over and say hello. You don’t have to have a long and drawn out conversation, especially if they or you are with other people, but saying a quick hello-it’s-good-to-see-you is often appreciated. Alternatively, if someone comes up to you to say hello, stop what you’re doing and acknowledge them. Introduce them to the people you’re with and show that you appreciate their coming over.
Greet others, even if you’re not the host or “official greeter”
You don’t need to be the host to go up to others and greet them. Making them feel welcome and comfortable makes you appear friendly, confident, and open – all of which will make you stand out from everyone else who is keeping to themselves. Greeting others is especially appreciated when they’re new to the group and don’t know anyone. Your welcoming them will help put them at ease and may make the newness of the situation less stressful and intimidating.
Make eye contact
Making eye contact is like putting a ‘come in, we’re open’ sign on your face. In western society, eye contact is considered friendly and inviting. If you don’t make eye contact, others won’t necessarily know if it’s OK to talk to you because it’ll seem like you want to be left alone – and that’s likely what will happen: they’ll leave you alone.
When part of a group, make sure everyone is involved in the conversation
Being left out of the conversation is very uncomfortable so avoid discussing topics that exclude someone in the group. There are many subjects to talk about and likely one that everyone can contribute to or at least keep them feeling part of the group. Stick to those topics and include everyone.
Change the subject when someone else feels uncomfortable
Even when everyone is involved in a conversation, if someone feels uncomfortable with the topic she can feel excluded. Everyone should be able to enjoy the conversation and, again, there are many subjects to talk about so find one that everyone is comfortable with.
Be friendly regardless of your mood
We all experience bad moods but that doesn’t mean others have to experience our bad moods also. Keep your negativity to yourself. Be friendly and always treat everyone well and with respect. If you’re having such a bad day that you’re on the verge of “losing it,” it might be best for you to just stay away from everyone else.
Leave everyone you encounter feeling good about himself or herself
Just by being attentive and interested in another can make him feel important and valued. Keep in mind that it’s not so much a matter of how long you were attentive as much as it is the degree to which you were attentive.
Use these communciation skills tips whether you’re communicating in the workplace, building your team communciation skills or just improving social skills. You’ll be noticed more and probably liked better when your actions demonstrate your attentiveness towards others.
