Profitable People Skills – Pay Back Time?
by Shawna Schuh
Here’s a refreshing article on improving social skills. Whether we’re coping with difficult people at work, a difficult boss, or a complete stranger, Shawna offers some wise advice on how we can handle situations effectively and gracefully.
Sometimes it’s much too easy to point the finger at someone else’s poor behavior. Case in point – Ever been a little irritated or downright ticked off, that someone stepped in front of you in line? What about someone lurching in front of you for the last seat on the bus or train when it was obvious you were just about to sit down?
The whole thing of people being self preserving and having the attitude of, “to each his own”, is prevailing in our society now. It may feel like it would be great to do a little “payback” for the rude, the wrong and mean. The challenge with that is then you are shifting the good in you to the bad.
So if you want to do a little “Payback” how about a making your pay back one of kindness, consideration or help.
Because fighting rude with rude – is ridiculous – the only true way to eradicate rude is with kindness and love.
There have been many stories of how someone helped a stranger and the stranger went on to help many others since they were so positively affected by the simple act of kindness. I hope all of us would do this. We pass on the good.
Here are some ways to turn the negative into a positive and even though I know it’s difficult to do when someone is obviously rude, I also believe that you never know what will happen in life. If I’m going into a critical situation, I want all the benefits on my side and the only way to guarantee that is to behave like there could be a critical situation at any time. To that end, try these techniques and your pay back will always be sweet.
1. Pay Attention.
If there’s an open seat or parking spot and you think it’s yours pay attention to what else is going on. There’s a good possibility that another person thinks the exact same thing. If they get to it first then swallow and smile. Wrack it up to your single-minded focus that you didn’t see them coming. If you get to it first be gracious and smile also. You aren’t in a race and no one beat anyone out of anything, you just had a stronger focus or faster stride.
Furthermore, if you see that someone is moving slowly, is pregnant or elderly why not give up your seat? I know that it’s hard to stand up all the way home when you’ve been working all day, but the graciousness you show will take away some of the weariness and do much for the state of mind of others who witness this kindness.
2. Acknowledge what just went on.
Losing a seat or place in line is irritating, but not half as irritating as the indifference or rudeness of some people who push their way in or ahead of you. Sometimes it’s best to acknowledge what just occurred so that you can let it go and sometimes to let the other person know that their actions were not lost on you. Remember that being rude back will only compound the problem so this is a perfect time to use your graciousness. If someone else gets the spot first or cuts in front of you say something along the line of. “You must be in an awful hurry.” And then smile. You gave it up; you acknowledged it and they don’t have to be rude any longer. If you are the first to get the seat then make a small comment that will defuse their anger along the lines of “Getting a seat is becoming almost impossible isn’t it?” This will help the other party realize that you understand how they feel, but that it didn’t have anything to do with them.
Of course you won’t need to worry about what to say when cutting in line since you wouldn’t do that type of behavior unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary to cut in line then turn and acknowledge the people behind you and ask their forgiveness and explain that it’s vital you do this thing. If it isn’t vital to cut in line then go to the back like everyone else.
3.Don’t be pulled down.
I have been so shocked and appalled by other people’s behavior. At times I’ve wanted to scream out my frustration. Being a past cheerleader, I know I could really get my point across in some of these busy places I frequent. This is not a good idea. Screaming or becoming irate doesn’t do anyone any good, least of all the person coming unglued.
I only feel this way when I’m stressed or late or something isn’t going right in my life. This is the hardest time to be gracious. It doesn’t have anything to do with the person who was rude, that’s their problem and it will come back around to them sooner or later. But getting pulled down by their rude behavior is a problem we all need to watch every day.
One thing I’ve started to do is say a little mantra to myself whenever I’m in crowds of people jostling for space, “How important is this?” “How important is this?” I say it over and over and usually the answer is the same, not important enough to lose my own sense of honor or humor.
Sometimes it helps me calm right down. Sometimes it gives me the answer to leave and come back later when I have more time. Sometimes it makes me laugh out loud because I’m talking to myself like a crazy person. Whatever happens I know that in the big scheme of things this little mishap isn’t all that important.
So there you have it. If you are in a public place and someone is rude you have some tips and techniques that will help you maintain your graciousness and spread kindness too. Wouldn’t it be great to know that maybe the person you just gave your seat to could be the one who worked on you in a crisis? It could happen, but even if it never did the joy you feel in doing things well will keep you healthier anyway!
If you want to attract more prospects, multiply loyal customers, and boost sales, this Schuh is a fit! Shawna Schuh is an extraordinary storyteller who works with corporations and associations to develop environments that help people bring their best selves to the work. Shawna addresses any and all issues relating to people skills. Her presentations are humorous, overflowing with energy and packed with practical results driven information that will positively maximize profits. Take an action that will help you succeed and improve your people skills, visit: http://shawnaschuh.com/DailySocialSignup2.php.
Article Source: EzineArticles
photo©iStockphoto.com/Zlatko Kostic
