Just Because You’re Talking . . . Doesn’t Mean I’m Listening
Active listening isn’t just the responsibility of the listener – it’s also the responsibility of the speaker to give the listener something to listen to.
I may look like I’m listening to you, but don’t count on it. I have a lot on my mind. Bills, kids, work, car problems are all running through my mind and unless I tell you, you simply won’t know. You’ll think I really am listening to you. Maybe we’re on the phone, maybe you’re in my office, and maybe you’re giving a presentation with me in the audience. I’m just on the other side of your words, but like it or not – your words are just not getting through.
Keep in mind that thinking is not necessarily the same as listening. So if the problem is that I’m thinking about something other than what you’re saying, to solve that problem you need to give me some compelling reasons to listen.
Here’s how. As you get ready to talk to me, consider that I’ll only give you my complete attention if you can answer these questions – and the more you answer, the longer I’ll listen:
- Why should I listen to you in the first place?
- Why should I keep listening?
- What do you want me to remember?
- What do you want me to do?
Of course you don’t need to use these exact words. But if you want me to listen, I need to know what’s in it for me. What will I get out of giving you my undivided attention? That’s it. Otherwise, I’m likely only going to listen to you selectively while I politely tune out your words and think about what’s really important to me. Too bad if it’s not what you have to say.
So think about what’s important to me before you start talking. If you do and I’m convinced of it, I’ll keep listening. It’s that simple.
About the Author: Dr. Robert Portnoy is a licensed speech pathologist who has been professonally trained to identify and treat discorders of communication. Applying this body of knowledge to the needs of business and personal success, Dr. Portnoy has personally coached hundreds of business professionals to communicate more effectively. Over the years Dr. Portnoy discovered that learning to speak effectively is more about how to connect with your listeners than it is about telling them what you think they should know.
For more information about ways to keep me (and others) listening, check out “The Presentation Skills Toolkit.” You can even try it out for free at http://www.pstoolkit.com
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Just because you’re talking . . . doesn’t mean I’m listening
