Interpersonal Communication Skill: Know What You Need to Communciate
by Laurie Wilhelm
Good communication skills come in handy pretty much everywhere. Knowing what you want to say – not a general idea of what you plan on saying – and thinking about how to say it will help you communicate better. A recent experience really made that point clear to me.
A few weekends ago, one of my closest friends was suffering from pain in the upper half of her torso. She had it for about two weeks before it had become so excruciating that we went to the hospital’s Emergency department. We didn’t know what was causing such intense pain, although she believed it was probably an ulcer.
As we sat in Emergency’s waiting room, we took out a piece of paper and wrote down everything that was wrong so she wouldn’t forget any important information when speaking to the doctor. The list went something like this:
- extreme episodes of severe, prolonged, stabbing pain, mid-torso from front to back
- 24/7 continual pain, mid-torso from front to back and up to the throat
- list of other symptoms: nausea, some diarrhea, belching
I was pretty confident that she was ready to describe why we were paying the hosptial a late-night visit.
At 1am, we were led into one of the curtained-off rooms to be assessed by the doctor.
He came in, carrying and reading her paperwork, then asked her to describe her health problem. After she and I had gone through and listed what was wrong only an hour before, imagine my surprise when she said, “I’ve got gas.”
What?!!
Gas?!
After spending the day, doubled over in pain, upset and angry that the prescription from her family doctor wasn’t working and spending our evening in the hospital waiting room, the only thing she could think of telling the doctor was that she had gas?! I couldn’t believe it.
Thankfully, the doctor asked a few more questions and my friend eventually managed to communicate her pain and get the help she needed.
Know What You Want to Communicate
The importance of communciation skills can’t be understated in “regular” situations let alone emergency situations. Know what it is that you want to say and prepare yourself to say it. It’s not possible for the listener to understand the point you’re trying to make if you don’t make it. Imagine if the doctor didn’t investigate further and treated my friend for gas. There was no way he could have assumed the pain in her upper torso without her communicating it to him.
Take some time to prepare what to say in any communication. Improve on it as you run through your point a few times, out loud, so you can hear what it is you’re going to talk about. Organize your thoughts so it’s easy for the listener to understand what you’re telling him. Know what’s important and what’s not so you don’t sacrifice key information for trivial details. And if you write it down on a piece of paper and you freeze up, get out the paper and read it!
The degree to which someone can understand you is based on the degree to which you’re able to communicate it. You’ll save a lot of time and effort by preparing and saying it right the first time and not having to undo miscommunication and misunderstandings after the fact. Take some time to think about what to say and how to say it before the “real thing” – you’ll likely be better off in the end if you do.
SUCH a great communication post. Communication is one of my weak attributes and this post provides such great insight for me. Thanks so much!