Social Skills: Helpful Habits
by Laurie Wilhelm
I read a story last week about Robert Ebert who attended the Toronto International Film Festival. He was at the screening of a film which contained subtitles but his view was blocked because of a man sitting in front of him. Ebert later wrote in his column in the Chicago Sun-Times,
“In my medical condition I cannot speak, I tapped him lightly on the shoulder, and gestured him to move over a little. He said, ‘Don’t touch me!’ and remained in position. I tapped him lightly again. ‘I said — don’t touch me!’ He leaned further into the aisle, as if making a point of it. I tapped him a third time, and he jumped up and whacked me on the knee with whatever it was.”*
How’s that for bad interpersonal skills? I’m still shaking my head.
Good Social Skills in Action – Every Day
Good social skills are more than smiling and listening; they’re how we interact with and relate to others in various situations. When we use our social skills and make a habit of doing common courtesies, we’re aware of those around us. Most often, these skills and courtesies are ridiculously easy actions, take only a few seconds, and hardly inconvenience us, if at all. The thing is, though, they require us to actively think about and consider those around us instead of constantly focusing on what we want to have and do.
There are many different courtesies we can do everyday such as:
- holding the door for someone trying to open it and push a baby stroller in at the same time
- offering to give directions to someone when he’s staring at a map looking confused
- offering our seat on the bus to a senior, pregnant woman, or someone who just looks like they need to sit down
- when we’re driving, stopping to let someone make a left turn at a corner with no traffic lights
- letting the person in line behind us at the grocery store go ahead of us because we see she has only two items and our cart is overflowing
If we’re in the habit of helping others as we go about our daily lives then the times when we’re asked for something we’d listen, pay attention to the situation and be willing to do what we can instead of considering the asker a nuisance or an inconvenience and overreacting.
For me, it comes down to what we are ‘inside’ and that should be consistent regardless of the situation. When we say someone’s a “good guy,” he’s a “good guy” – period. Not just a “good guy” to family, friends and people he wants to influence, but a “good guy” to everyone because that’s what he is – a “good guy.”
The little, thoughtful actions we can do everyday for others are so simple and can mean so much. We help others because that’s what we do. We don’t have to make a big deal out of it, it’s just the way it is. Period.
