More Makes You Better: Interpersonal Skills
by Laurie Wilhelm
The thing with social skills is that just having a couple won’t make you succeed socially. It’s a collection of communication skills ranging from being able to introduce yourself and knowing what to say after “hello,” to non-verbal communication skills to giving feedback and a whole bunch of others in between. We find ourselves in many different situations everyday that we need a combination of skills to make us socially well-rounded.
Will good social skills make you the most popular person at work or at school? Probably not, but they will help you make friends easier and be more comfortable in group settings. They’ll also help you build your self-confidence so that you’re more willing and less stressed to go out to be with and meet other people.
Over time and with practice, social skills become more natural. The length of time it takes to be socially proficient depends on you and how much you’re willing to think about what to do and how to act in social situations and how often you put yourself in places where you’re meeting people and building relationships.
But just going out and being around people doesn’t make you socially skilled. It means that you go out a lot. It means that you’re not at home by yourself. It means that you’ve gone to the company picnic every year. It doesn’t mean, necessarily, that you have the communication skills to interact well with those around you.
At the end of the day, if you’re establishing and building various types of interpersonal relationships, contributing to them, maintaining and growing them, then you’ve got social skills. If you’re not and your interpersonal relationships are non-existent to poor, you can learn social skills and get to the point where you’re not just with people, but have relationships with them. It may take a bit time, but it’s totally doable. Just don’t assume that if you know a couple social skills that you’ll take a flying leap to the top of the social ladder. Learn a range of skills, practice them, use them and you’ll be fine.
