The Importance of Greeting Others in the First 90-Seconds
by Laurie Wilhelm
Have you ever been greeted by someone who didn’t even look at you? Or when they asked, “How are you?” it was obvious that they really didn’t care how you answered? It probably didn’t do much to make you feel good, welcomed or that it even mattered you were there.
On the other hand, have you ever been greeted by someone who sounded truly happy to see you? Who stopped what they were doing to acknowledge you? Who had a smile on their face, asked you how you were doing and actually waited for you to respond? It probably made you feel special and that you mattered.
The importance of greeting others shouldn’t be overlooked. It’s the first opportunity we have to focus entirely on another person and the way we choose to use those initial seconds determines the tone of our interactions. When we greet someone warmly and focus on them with our undivided attention the conversation will most likely reflect that warmness. When we greet someone indifferently or are too busy to bother, we set up an interaction that will probably be of a similar tone – and we lose the opportunity to reinforce good relations.
When you can greet someone and in those first few seconds make them feel that they’re important to you and they feel good about themselves, chances are that you’ll have a better relationship with them and they’ll probably like you more. Making someone feel good in a matter of seconds is as easy as giving them a little extra, positive attention whenever you first see them.
Jim Fannin, the “Change your Life” Coach,” has put together a video about the importance of greeting one another and the impact it has on our relationships. In his video, The 90-Second Rule, he states, “If you’ve been away from someone who you really care about for at least two hours, the first 90 seconds that you’re with them has more impact on the relationship than spending hours and hours with them later.”
Fannin gives some good examples of what to do and what not to do. While his video concentrates on familial relationships, the skill of greeting others well extends to all our social relationships, be they at home or at work. Making the people around you feel good by giving them a warm greeting every time you see them builds stronger, friendlier relationships.
I’d like to thank Alex Shalman for introducing me to Fannin and the 90-Second Rule.
You are welcome. I got really into this video when it hit my inbox and it got me thinking about all the places where this rule is applicable. Everywhere.
Laurie: Everywhere is right. A good greeting is never wasted.
Thanks for coming by, Alex.
That’s so true. I’ve never really thought about it before but it really is important to greet people (and greet them properly) at the beginning of an interaction. Great post!
Laurie: Hi Positively Present! Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment.
Thanks for reminding me about the importance of greeting. I am about to go out for the day. However, I am feeling exhausted from a couple of late nights. Still, it would be great to go out with a smile when I greet my friends and loved ones.
Have a wonderful day
Laurie: It’s hard to greet someone well when you’re tired. But it might be the “pick-me-up” that you need and you’ll have another late night!
Thanks for visiting, Evelyn. You have a wonderful day too.
@Evelyn Lim: I think greeting them with a big smile, and sharing that energy with them would totally re-energize you!
My habit is to make eye contacts, smile and ask them how they are doing. And if it is someone close to me a hug feels nice.
Thanks for the reminder and sharing this post.
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action
Laurie: That’s what I do too!
Laurie and Alex, this video was FANTASTIC. I can’t say enough good about it. I’ve known for quite some time about the first impression rule in regards to meeting people for the first time, but I never thought about something like this. Thanks for sharing this. It deserves to be widely advertised. I’ll try to get something going on Twitter today.
Laurie: Glad you liked the video too, Stephen. I thought it made the point really well – it’s one thing to have written about how to do it and quite another to watch it. Thanks for the Twitter support – I hope others enjoy it also.
I agree I always try to sound really chipper at work. it makes people feel good and gets a great response.
Laurie: Happiness is contagious and others catch it. (Same goes for miserable…)
Thanks for visiting, Suzie, and for leaving a comment. I really enjoy your blog; it’s one of my favourites.
Hey Laurie,
Great video! Made me realise I do the 90sec rule for my partner but I don’t do it as well for other people. I also love the mirroring technique. Thanks.
Laurie: Ya, the mirroring technique is a pretty smart idea. Thanks for stopping by, Sami. I appreciate it.
You know, I have a friend who gives hugs when she first sees people. And they’re not just any hugs — they’re HUGS. Long, tight, and meaningful. I make it a point to try and be fully present with people when I greet them. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but intentions go a long way.
Great post, and wonderful site!
Laurie: Wow – a real hug! Don’t see those often.
Intentions do go a long way; people pick up on the energy even if the action isn’t quite where you want it to be. Thanks for visiting my site and for your kind words. I appreciate them.
[...] I’m not awesome at this but I’m getting much better). There’s a great article on The Importance of Greeting Others in The First 90 Seconds by Laurie over at Express Yourself to [...]